I spent most of today drawing. I’ve been working on making some cement pots these last couple of weeks and it hasn’t gone very well due to the second coming of winter. I thought I’d try drawing some little sketches of what I’d like the finished pots to look like.
The weather is also delaying more outfit posts since I prefer to take photos outside. I might be able to get another one done next week if the snow melts, until then I’ll be posting some little drawings.
Here are the previous What I Wore posts from my old blog. I also found some photos of the outfits as well.
This was one of my favourite outfits, I probably wore it at least once a week.
Going back through these images makes me sad because with the exception of the orange cardigan, a lot of these pieces are no longer hanging in my closet. Most of them formed holes that couldn’t be repaired or I donated them to be loved by someone else.
Its been a very long time since I’ve done one of these outfit drawings. The intent was always there, but because of several changes to my life, I didn’t have the drive to sit down and draw.
Some people in my life know that I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression for several years. It’s not really something I like talking about though so it might be news to a lot of you. I’ve had some very good times and some very very bad times. One way I’ve learned to cope with all the awful feelings in my head is to focus on keeping the rest of my body happy. Keeping myself healthy and putting effort into looking good (to myself, because I’m not great at following trends) does wonders for me on a bad day. I’m also very big on routines and scheduling my time. Waking up early, getting work done, making sure I have time for exercise, seeing friends, and whatever else comes at me. This way of life kept me functioning as a person and usually stopped me from hiding under a bunch of blankets until a couple of years ago when I decided to make some big changes. I ended up in a drastically different situation than I had been in before. I haven’t spent more than 6 months in the same city and as soon as I find myself settling in, I have to pack up and move again. Some people would hate living like that, however it doesn’t bother me all that much. It’s actually pretty exciting for me and I’ve gotten used to living with the essentials, I don’t even own a TV!
The only downside to my life at the moment is that my routine has been thrown out the window, I don’t really feel much like wearing makeup anymore, and the clothing that used to make me feel great about my body no longer suits my lifestyle. I’ve also adapted some of my boyfriend’s eating habits, and while he can eat a steady diet of junk food and still maintain the body of a greek statue, I cannot. I’ve gradually become less healthy, which has caused changes in my skin as well as thinning hair. My self-esteem has been slowly vanishing and despite trying really hard to ignore it, I’m definitely depressed.
In short, I’m a mess.
Yesterday it all sort of came to a boiling point. I threw my pleather jacket on over my hoodie and headed out the door to run some errands with my mom. I caught my reflection in a glass window and was like “oh, oh no, this is not good, why do I look and feel so awful all the time?” I spent the night in deep reflection, trying to figure out how I got to this point and why looking good was so important to me. I realized it isn’t so much about looking good as it is about how I make myself feel good. It never occurred to me that giving up on my routine was basically giving up on myself.
So now that I’ve figured out why I feel bad, I have to figure out how to fix it.
Scheduling my time and coming up with a routine is going to be hard, especially since I share my time Will now and in a couple of months we could be moving again. I think its definitely going to be a work in progress until we settle in again, especially since the next move we make will hopefully be for at least two years.
I’m going to try to put effort into looking good and feeling comfortable with myself again. A few weeks ago I did that whole “minimalist wardrobe” thing were you purge all your useless stuff and keep only the things you love and have worn over the last 6 months. This is a bit of an extra challenge for me because every 6 months I switch between cities with drastically different weather. So I ended up keeping some extra things that I love, but don’t get to wear very often because they are too warm for Quebec in the summer. The minimalist wardrobe purge did say that the process would help you figure out your personal style, but I kind of just ended up with a bunch of things that I wear out of necessity and I honestly wasn’t thrilled about putting on every day. So I went out and raided the sale rack at my favourite store for some new things that look good on my body and will fit with my lifestyle. I’m also trying to put more effort into caring for my skin and putting pretty colors on my face more often.
As for getting back to a healthy place again, that is definitely going to take a lot of effort. I’ve been trying to eat better for the last few weeks but I keep getting distracted by chocolate and bubble waffles.
I have to crack down on my diet and I’m going to try to pick up running again, even though it makes me feel tired and awful the next day. It gets better eventually, right? hopefully a change in diet and less stress from being sad will also make my hair happy again.
Its going to take a lot of effort but I’m really hoping I can get both my mental and physical self back to where it was again.
We’ve been having some nice sunny weather here in St. John’s. The snow is melting and Will and I have been trying to take advantage of that by going to the park to walk around, look at people’s dogs (we want one of our own so badly!), and take photos. Even though the sun has been coming out, its still freezing cold, but it looks like it might be warming up a bit in the next few days. We also had an epic red sky last night, which is usually an indication of nice weather
even though I haven’t been feeling very well lately, I’ve been trying to get outside more for some fresh air and exercise. Bowring Park is one of my favourite places to visit in the city. There’s walking trails, Peter Pan themed sculptures, a Greenhouse, and lots of ducks!
This year they’ve added a rather silly goose to the duck pond, as well as some very cute little Tufted ducks.
I’m really looking forward to when winter is over so we can spend more time outside without freezing out fingers off. I’m hoping my blog content might get more exciting too. I’d like to do some outfit posts as well as share some recipes and talk about our travels.
Here’s some bonus shots of my super tired face and Will with a pretty sunset. I might post a bit about make up as well since that’s one thing I use to perk myself up when I’m not feeling the greatest. Wearing a nice bold lipstick or a wash of color across my eyelids always makes me feel happy.
Its hard to form any kind of routine when you’re always in the process of relocating from one place to another. Habits, both good and bad are formed and after a year or so you get used to a kind of normal that would seem intolerable to others. While I’ve managed to get used to living in two drastically different places, sometimes the stress of it all starts wearing me down. Right now we’re in the process of waiting to see where the next move will be and as much as I love St. John’s I can’t wait to start a new adventure, especially one that involves staying put for a couple of years.
Back to the whole stress bit, lately I’ve been feeling super tired and irritable. I haven’t been eating or sleeping properly, my creativity seems to have disappeared, and all I want to do is camp out on the couch under a blanket while marathoning Parks and Recreation. In an effort to focus on the positive and be less distracted, I decided to get off Facebook and Instagram, at least for a little while. I wanted to start this blog up again so I could have a space to write my thoughts, reflect, and share the best aspects of my life.
One thing I’m doing to help get myself get back on track is changing my diet up a bit.
I definitely overindulged in sweeties over the holidays and now my body is getting the slow sluggish feeling that comes from depriving it of healthy foods. Thankfully Will and I enjoy cooking so a goal for this year is to try some new recipes that will make our bellies happy and healthy.
I had the craving for something sweet today so I decided to make some cookie dough bites. These are great because they’re quick to throw together, don’t require an oven, and you get protein, vitamins, and minerals. Awesome.
The recipe can be found here. I used blackcurrant flavoured maple syrup instead of regular, which brings an exciting flavour to the cookie party. I also used cocoa nibs instead of chocolate chips because I like their crunchiness and they have a nice chocolaty taste without being sweet.
I’ve found that sometimes the dough turns out sort of sticky, which makes it hard to form it into balls. Greasing your hands up with some coconut oil solves that problem.
I hope to have some more recipe tests, travel tales, and pictures of projects I’m working on up here in the future. We’ll see how it goes. I’m hoping that leaving facebook will drive me to be more creative and go outside more.
I spent a lot of time experimenting and dreaming up different ways for me to make art last summer. One of the things I really enjoyed was making 3 dimensional pieces out of paper. Because of all the experimenting I ended up doing a lot of drawings that didn’t become finished pieces. Theses little owls were some of the bits that I really loved, but didn’t know what to do with. I figured rather than let them go unloved, I’d make a printable paper craft out of them and share it with you.
1. Carefully cut out your owls and the three rectangular stands, make sure you don’t cut off the feet tab at the bottom of the legs, your owls will need these to stand on! If you’re using a knife to cut them out you can cut out the bit of paper between the legs and bottom tab, if using scissors, you can leave it to make for easier cutting. Fold back the feet tab and the tabs on each of the stands to look like this:
2. Place a dab of glue or tape in the middle back of the feet tab and attach the stand tab to look like the picture below. I used some lovely green painter’s tape so it would be easy to see…and I’m kinda all out of glue at the moment!
3. Place the bottom of the stand on a flat surface so you make a nice angle with the paper, this will help your owl stand up straight. Put a dab of glue or tape on the body tab, fold it up and press it against the body to make a triangle shape like the one pictured below. Attach each stand to one of your owls.
And there you have it! Now that they’re done you can display them on your desk or shelf, or take them on adventures. We’re having a rainy ol’ day here in St. John’s so my little owls will be staying inside today.